welcome to the show
trying really hard not to die by listening to really good music

my life is one big “wow ok”


fosterthenoodle:

There’s a very special place in heaven for bands who put lyric booklets in their CD cases.


danielkanhai:

whenever you see a centaur they always have abs. how does a centaur get abs? how do you do ab workouts when half your body is a fucking horse?


(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
“Damn f**s.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

twenyonepilots:

I can’t listen to some of twenty one pilots songs in public because they make me so emotional like one minute I’m just a pop punk girl sitting in Dunkin’ Donuts then “please don’t take your life away from me” and the next minute I’m just a skeleton and a puddle of emotions


patrick-stumps:

el-hotel-bella-muerte:

PETE WENTZ HAS A SON CALLED SAINT LAZSLO.

ARE THEY AWARE LAZSLO LITERALLY MEANS SAINT TOO?

SAINT SAINT.

NEW BABY WENTZ IS THE NEXT GENERATION EMO MOON MOON.

I GIVE UP WITH THIS MAN.

i was sure it meant famous ruler oh i was wrong


bagmilk:

"i dismiss you, not the bell"

image

(Source: heteroh)


solarsisterss:

U know how in winter it gets so cold and u think u will never be hot again and in summer it gets so hot u think u will never be cold again I think that is how it is with ur feelings like when u r sad u think u will never be happy and when u r happy u think u will never be sad. But u will be hot again and u will be cold again and u will be sad again but most of all u will be happy again


celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying